Alright, so I've been thinking about it and discussing it with various people. The topic of sir names. I am very set in keeping my name, if I ever marry, which a whole different topic. lol So, I'm a pretty loud person so I make it known that I wouldn't dream of giving up my name for someone else's that I have no connection to except for that person (which isn't guaranteed to last forever). My reasoning is, why should I give up my name and take someone else's if they aren't willing to do the same? Why should womyn have to give up their names just because they get married?? Perhaps it was because womyn were still technically considered property until 1971. Either way I don't think its fair and I'm not going to participate in it. Ok, so I can understand if a guy wouldnt want to take my name instead because I wouldnt want to take someone else's either. However, guys have completely different reasoning for it such as "well thats not how it should be" or because "thats the way I was raised" (where the womyn takes the mans name and thats "just how it is"), which is bullshit in and of itself. Dont expect me to blindly follow "tradition" especially if your not willing to do the same. So then people ask me, "well what about hyphenating your name with his?" My response to that is quite similar to the previous one. Why would I take someone else's name and hyphenate it with mine if they aren't willing to do the same? If they love me so much and want to spend the rest of their life with me, and are expecting me to take their name because I love them or whatever their crazy reasoning, why shouldn't they have to do the same, or at least be willing to. I know that I'm kind of repeating myself here but it baffles me that other womyn don't ask these questions and why they, and we, don't question tradition, why is it tradition, and how did it become tradition. In my experience, and from what I've learned, tradition is oppressive of womyn. why would I want to continue my own oppression, or support past oppression and lose my individual identity in the process?!?! That doesn't make much sense to me.
So then people ask me, "well what happens if you have kids?" well first that wouldn't really be an issue for me because I don't want kids and I don't plan on having kids. However, hypothetically if I did have kids, well it probably wouldn't be with someone who didn't agree with me on the above topic. so lets create a scenario, I'm married to someone and they've kept their name and i have kept mine. Ok fine, so we hyphenate the kids last name.
Then my friend points out that even my last name isn't really mine because it is my father's. She brings a good point and something we also don't think about often or ever. so then to be concurrent with my previous logic i would have to create a sir name that is uniquely mine, not attached to man. Or another alternative would be to combine mine and my fiance's last names to make one name belonging to both of us. However that would still leave me attached to a man, however it would be mine also, so not necessarily attached but a part of. But think of the mess if we were to divorce! What a nightmare that would be!
So by my logic and as a feminist does that leave me no choice but to create my own sir name? But then what about my family, then I would just become isolated not being a part of it and becoming an individual. I feel like that would be a quite lonely endeavor.
Verdict: I'm probably going to keep my last name, even though it is my father's. and do you think I'm going to take the Mrs. title? Hell no! I plan to get a Doctorate and it will be used there... so we can be Dr. Richelle ... and Mr. whoever I marry (maybe) or whatever he wants his title to be. Or better yet, just call me Richelle. So our title can just be Richelle and (whatever his name is).
Although I did just think of something, what if he (by some miracle) decided he would take my name? How would people, other than those who already know us, know it was my name and not his?? They would assume it was his and I took his name...we cant have that now.
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